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Daily Bafflements

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Fresh Hell
January 07, 2022
How to get rich or die trying in the the ascendant NFT fart jar economy.

Fresh Hell
December 17, 2021
OOO Early next year, Republicans will take control of the state legislature in Virginia. Democrats, biding their time during these final few moments in power, have expressed concern that—what with the Supreme Court all but certain to curtail or outright overturn Roe v. Wade at ...

Fresh Hell
December 10, 2021
Extremely Expensive and Totally Pointless As new Covid-19 cases perilously ticked up this week amid fears of the Omicron variant, the Biden administration touted its new initiative allowing privately insured Americans to—after filling out the necessary paperwork, of ...

Fresh Hell
December 03, 2021
All Wonderwall and No Play Over the interminably long holiday weekend, as millions of well-intentioned Americans willingly entrapped themselves with the torturous deep-state conspiracy theories of relatives variously drunk on tryptophan and Facebook, sixty-one hapless Brits ...

Fresh Hell
November 19, 2021
Build Back Better*  (*Terms, Conditions, and Exclusions May Apply) Once upon a time, in the distant reaches of summer, Democrats unveiled a $3.5 trillion spending package that would, as we’ve long-since tired of rehashing, over the ensuing months be gradually shorn of its ...

Fresh Hell
November 05, 2021
I’ve Had the Time of My Life World leaders descended on Glasgow this week to assure the masses that they ab-so-lutely understand the severity of the climate crisis. Boris Johnson, taking the stage, adopted an appropriately grim tone: “Humanity has long since run down the ...

Fresh Hell
October 29, 2021
Jackass: The Emoji Following yet another round of ruthless pruning, the provisionally definitive form of President Biden’s domestic spending bill emerged late this week. Shorn of a billionaire tax, a corporate tax increase, paid family leave of any duration, a clean ...

Fresh Hell
October 22, 2021
Why You Gotta Be So Mean? Earlier this year, rumors began to fly that Pfizer, enabled by our wondrous intellectual property regime, might possibly have been bullying governments in Covid-19 vaccine negotiations. The multinational conglomerate, it seems, not only wanted liability ...

Fresh Hell
October 15, 2021
The Nightmare of History Generally speaking, “history,” as it’s taught to children suffering through our glorious public education system, has tended to accept that the Holocaust—during which, it might be recalled, some six million Jewish men, women, and children were ...

Fresh Hell
October 08, 2021
The United Nations & Co. The United Nations General Assembly launched into its seventy-sixth session last month, an interminable parade of proclamations and resolutions and revisions to previous proclamations and resolutions that will set the stage for Sustainable ...