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Fox News: Not Worthy of Our Attention Until We Say So

potted geranium

Stranded referents, a shotgun spray of clashing claims and jumbled ideas, half-completed gestures. If you put two potted geraniums side by side and pointed a television camera at them, they would trade as much information as Bill O’Reilly and Barack Obama exchanged in the president’s alleged Fox News “interview” this week. Come to think of it, forget I mentioned geraniums: the whole thing was a laser pointer for cats. Point two famous faces at one another, and have them make noises with their mouths, and then we’ll all pretend to observe a discussion. Let’s chase the little red dot for a moment, examining an entire line of questioning from start to finish:

O’REILLY – The secret to getting a je—good job is education. And in these chaotic families, the children aren’t well-educated because it isn’t—it isn’t, um, encouraged at home as much as it is in other precincts. Now, school vouchers is a way to level the playing field. Why do you oppose school vouchers when it would give poor people a chance to go to better schools?
PRESIDENT OBAMA – Actually—every study that’s been done on school vouchers, Bill, says that it has very limited impact if any —
O’REILLY – Try it.
PRESIDENT OBAMA – On—it has been tried, it’s been tried in Milwaukee, it’s been tried right here in D.C.—
O’REILLY [OVERLAP] – And it worked here.
PRESIDENT OBAMA – No, actually it didn’t. When you end up taking a look at it, it didn’t actually make that much of a difference. So what we have been supportive of is, uh, something called charters. Which, within the public school system gives the opportunity for creative experiments by teachers, by principals to-to start schools that have a different approach. And—
O’REILLY [OVERLAP] – You would revisit that? I-I just thin—I used be, teach in a Catholic school, a-and I just know—
PRESIDENT OBAMA [OVERLAP] – Bill—you know, I—I’ve taken, I’ve taken—I’ve taken a look at it. As a general proposition, vouchers has not significantly improved the performance of kids that are in these poorest communities—
O’REILLY [OVERLAP] [INAUDIBLE] –
PRESIDENT OBAMA – Some charters—some charters are doing great. Some Catholic schools do a great job, but what we have to do is make sure every child—
O’REILLY [OVERLAP] – I got three more questions.

And we move on to the Keystone pipeline, knowing only that what we have to do is to “make sure every child—”

O’Reilly asks nothing, building it on a premise that he hasn’t quite figured out yet. Poor education is the product of indifferent families, so we have to give school vouchers to children whose families don’t care what they learn, so those families that don’t encourage learning can go out and search for a better school, ensuring a better learning experience for their children. But he said “school vouchers,” a scoreboard phrase, so put a point on the board. For those of you keeping track at home, I have now compared this interview to a potted plant, a laser pointer, and a scoreboard, and I’m only on my third paragraph.

Then Obama and O’Reilly yes-it-works-no-it-doesn’t at one another for a while, and then the president says he supports charter schools that allow “creative experiments by teachers, by principals to start schools that have a different approach,” the very thing that the urgently standardized, data-focused, test-centered, centrally managed Race to the Top doesn’t encourage at all. By the way, Bill totally taught in a Catholic school.

Here’s another exchange from later in the interview:

O’REILLY – Illegal immigration?
PRESIDENT OBAMA – Health care for all.
O’REILLY – Tax and spend?
PRESIDENT OBAMA – Equal opportunity!

Okay, I made that part up. Does it matter? O’Reilly says “nanny state,” Obama says “GI Bill.” They perform various facial expressions.

The whole entirely pointless “interview” gave Obama a chance to do the one thing he most seems to enjoy, though, as the President of the United States: whining about a television channel being unfair to him. Basic cable is where Sean Hannity slams Barack Obama and Alex Guarnaschelli chops Chef Theo for not fully transforming the secret ingredients in the basket. Elevating Fox News to the status of the president’s principal antagonist does the opposite of diminishing it. In 2009, then-White House communications director Anita Dunn announced that the administration was declaring war on Roger Ailes and his news operation: “We’re going to treat them the way we would treat an opponent,” she said. In 2014, they’re the most watched cable news channel by far, with more than double the audience of any other news station. Stay the course!

I imply no disrespect for Alex Guarnaschelli, who is significantly more interesting than the spectacle of Barack Obama talking to Bill O’Reilly.