[ ] blood runs green and the [ ] one i will let let me / i will let it run me good and green into its pockets until i don’t run at all / i will simply fall in / i am a whole entire [ ] but i can be yours for a small monthly fee [ ] it could all be / every red cent around [ ]
how do i [ ] / how do i convince you
i tell you that “I am the ideal candidate” [ ] that i give more than i can, that i would even [ ] suck up [ ] my own desire, as if i desire more labor, less time / as if any desire were left un-bled-dry / it ripens with age but in the dire [ ] we realize it gets squeezed
my experience includes a childhood best friend’s mother / she restocked hallmark cards at walmart / babysitter-less we went with and worked too, ripping the bags apart and letting the glitter fall on us, shining like [ ]
we lit up this way / [ ] help her to [ ] herself / to finish her degree and make good on her ascent to some grace / more than good, when we left she would give [ ] money for our time / so time and time again i turned minutes untimidly [ ] dimes / no wonder of its worth, to [ ] fair / when she slipped those few little green dollars into my glittery fist, i came to be [ ] / my eyes sparkled more than my hands
that was my first [ ] at least i let her be my first boss / more than cash i [ ] think she paid us in light / years later she said she cried when i stopped being friends with her son / these eyes still glimmer
but dull hands [ ]
not / when [ ] ends, it ends [ ]
- [ ] me / you can do any vile thing you want to me
- isn’t that what you want to hear / the sinister minimum slipping into acceptance is [ ] fault / isn’t it
- a fault line / at least a fault of mine is mostly that [ ] of my best is yours / yet still i see over all these [ ]
flat words
[ ] that can’t get a rise / not even from a sun / as if the idea [ ] is set in bloodred stone that never is my everyday [ ] evergreen
without your leverage pressing me into profit / professionally i confess i learned how to convert stress into jewels [ ] worth something but never precious / i proffered them / they sold / they didn’t weigh me down like words [ ] / some born like burdens / i babysat as a teenage boy / it was unlike [ ] only [ ] for me [ ]
it could’ve been [ ] beauty but it was ugly crying and [ ] / i mean me / also the babies / i had my first beer then / bitter, bidden by my uncle [ ] a smile
[ ]
- as a part of [ ] life:
- the white-washing
- a wood fence [ ] like babysitting
- [ ] this included: those weekends of work
- and family / my aunt taught me how to knead
- pizza dough, how to drive stick
- it stuck in mind and it didn’t suck then but nevermind
- time [ ] is drained and now i’m begging not to be [ ] any more than you will let / let me be