• Today in millennials v. owls (we pick up with the owls telling the millennials off for supporting Sanders):
Despite our frank rejection of establishment politics, establishment media waste no time swooping in to lecture us about our cognitive defects like so many pedantic barn owls . . . ‘Stay sane, America!’ hoots David Brooks for the Times . . . But David Brooks is just one gassy bird in the barn . . . what did the great tawny-bellied Paul Krugman have to say to the nation’s waywardly progressive? ‘Sorry,’ he pecked in his Times column. ‘There’s nothing noble about seeing your values defeated because you preferred happy dreams to hard thinking about means and ends.’ Pausing to cough up a mouse carcass, he chittered on: ‘Don’t let idealism veer into destructive self-indulgence.’
• Bottled air surpasses “BLK water” as the year’s snake-oiliest product. Just watch this be-capped charlatan, wielding what looks like a butterfly net in a windy British field (perfect weather for air-harvesting!) to market small jars of nothingness (sorry, “the Louis Vuitton or Gucci” of air) to people living in smoggy cities like Beijing . . . and blink.
• Baffler contributor Ann Neumann’s The Good Death supposes “that we are not so good at death as we used to be, that modern medicine has stripped mortality of its necessary mystery.”
• Eric Trump has yet to master the noble art of the soundbite.