The Baffler,  March 2, 2016

Daily Bafflements

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• Today in Super Tuesday hangovers: Donald Trump wins big, bringing him to a total of 315 delegates, giving him a 110 delegate lead over Ted Cruz and a 200-something lead over Marco Rubio. While we encourage you to start crafting a plan for where and how you’ll flee the country if (or when) he gets elected, take a brief moment to indulge in our latest installment from “Political Cartoons.” After all, nothing says “fun” in times of pure, unadulterated terror like drawing Chris Christie sucking on the soggy Cheetos fingers of a giant, KKK-loving Godzilla with a tiny-ass dick.

• Hillary Clinton found herself face-to-face with yet another voter over her “superpredator” comments in 1996—this time in Minnesota. Although Clinton has gone to great lengths to make it clear that the superpredator is dead and gone, Natasha Vargas-Cooper reported a few weeks ago on one aspect of the myth that has somehow managed to stick around: life sentences for juvenile offenders. 

• Great news, everyone! If you’re in New York City—specifically Manhattan—the NYPD has quietly announced it’s going to quit arresting people for public urination and drinking in public! Pop them bottles, but maybe hold off on . . . you know, that other activity.

• Bob Dole can neither confirm nor deny that Ted Cruz is the Zodiac Killer

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