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“Boats ‘N Hoes,” PACs & Frats

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Most things in American politics make much more sense when you remember all the jackasses you met in college. Think back to sophomore year, when frat officials were spreading the word of a “pimps and hoes” party at the chapter lodge that weekend, where a dress code would be strictly enforced. The gentlemen would be required to wear flashy, garish, baggy clothes, carry canes, and drink out of gold plastic goblets; young ladies were encouraged to wear especially short skirts and higher-than-usual heels. To a certain type, there was nothing more delightful than participating in cartoonish depictions of the sex-work industry.

What becomes of all those frat dudes? The dumb ones go into complex over-the-counter derivatives trading. And the really dumb ones become Republican political operatives.

pimp costume

Costume available at Party City

We all remember in 2009 when James O’Keefe and his sidekick, Ms. Sidekick, dressed like pimps and hoes in a “sting operation” against ACORN, those evil community organizers who did the nefarious work of trying to provide low-income people with affordable housing and such. The whole “sting” turned out to be a fraud, but nevermind: history still remembers James O’Keefe & Co. dressing up in costumes and tricking those silly leftists.

Since 2009, campaign finance has changed such that anyone and everyone not only can start a PAC, but will start a PAC. And what’s the most fun part of starting a PAC? Naming it, of course. The more professional types will select their names from the discount bin of hackneyed political tropes: America, Patriot, Restore, Liberty, American, Freedom, Growth, Values, Red, White, Blue, Honor, Duty, Country, et cetera. Better to pick something benign and sentimental in order to separate those wealthy seniors from their money.

But then there are those who’d like to put a bit of personality into their PACs—a little joke, maybe, to show how bold they are, how “baller.” The joke won’t last for long, but while it does, it will be hilarious. Ladies and gentlemen, pimps and hoes, we present to you Texas Republican political operative Shaun Nowacki. The Texas Tribune reports:

A Texas political action committee called Boats ‘N Hoes PAC will be just a memory by Thursday, according to the Republican political consultant who is the boss of the man who started it.

Houston consultant Allen Blakemore confirmed Wednesday evening that his firm’s bookkeeper, Shaun Nowacki, started the PAC, which is a reference to a song from the 2008 film Step Brothers. The committee will be dissolved on Thursday, Blakemore said.

Blakemore said Nowacki was contrite about the controversy created by the PAC’s name, which surfaced on social media Wednesday afternoon. Nowacki filed paperwork with the Texas Ethics Commission to create the PAC on April 1 and named himself treasurer. The PAC has not filed any fundraising reports since its creation two weeks ago. It is the only PAC Nowacki is listed with on the Texas Ethics Commission’s website.

Nowacki did not respond to several requests for comment Wednesday.

Yes, dudes, it is indeed a reference to the 2008 film Step Brothers, one of those “I’m not tired yet so I’ll watch the first forty-five minutes of this stupid but perfectly enjoyable movie and then turn in” comedies. In the movie, the two idiots portrayed by John C. Reilly and Will Ferrell try to start a company called Prestige Worldwide and make a music video entitled “Boats ‘N Hoes.” The overall conceit of the film is that the characters played by Reilly and Ferrell are stupid, irresponsible man-children; this episode with the music video represents the apotheosis of their stupidity and irresponsibility. It appears to Shaun Nowacki, however, that the dream of possessing both boats and hoes is the apotheosis of awesomeness—potentially profitable awesomeness, even.

The fun of following politics is learning to recognize the same recurring, immature personalities you’ve known since you were young, and watching all the new ways they manifest themselves out in the world.