My father loved to leave me
in a movie theater
by myself
beginning when I was six
seated alone
by the aisle
He paid the usher a dime
to make sure
no one kidnapped or molested me
Michael Ansara, Jeff Chandler, and Ruth Roman
were my cartoon heroes
living and dying in a gray world
in a double-feature
all glamor gone in their second run
My father hated me and told me so
in so many ways
I have almost lost count
The last time
was when he was at home
dying
The growth had become a ball
stuck inside him
and swelling
When I brought him medicine
to relieve the pain
he said
“You’re too stupid to give me those
I will wait for your brother to come home”