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Don’t Say the Magic Word
November 25, 2013
The Obama administration is scared, oh so scaredy scared, of a word. It’s a big mean word, and all of liberalism must tremble in its wake: “redistribution.” The New York Times reports that, among other things, the administration in 2011 bypassed a qualified ...

Adult Babies React as Expected When Favorite Toy Taken Away
November 22, 2013
So the Senate minority is no longer able to filibuster the nominations of all executive and judicial branch appointees for shits and giggles anymore. No longer, to use the most recent example, can it block votes on three judges appointed to a circuit court because, as the excuse ...

Business Is Booming in the Halls of Government
November 21, 2013
Lobster and oysters? Oh, how I hate this buffet—so hard to decide. I guess we’ll just talk over our choices with the buffet concierge, again. What a rough life. Congressional aides are also struggling with the health care exchanges, the poor things. They are, the New ...

HULK SMASH Not Actually Effective Solution to Civic Issues
November 20, 2013
What’s the next logical step for a country that’s just slashed SNAP benefits during a period of high, sorta-becoming-permanent unemployment, and plans to cut even more benefits in the near future? The War on the Hungry must move the ball down the field. What can be ...

Same Song, New Tempo from Politico
November 19, 2013
A few months ago, Politico announced an aggressive move into “long-form journalism,” that great mystical chimera of the magazine editor’s imagination: an animal often hunted, but rarely sighted. For people familiar with the site’s editorial ...

Game Change 2016: Whichever Candidate Polls Best
November 18, 2013
May I just admit that I loved the new Mark Halperin and John Heilemann 2012 election gossip book? It’s embarrassing, I know! I made fun of the title, Double Down: Game Change 2012, as much as anyone when it was announced. And the title remains funny — as does each ...

Reporting from the Institute of Made Up Institutes
November 15, 2013
What might be the top buzzword inside the Beltway? There are so many candidates! “Spox.” “Double Down.” “Save the Middle Class.” “Money.” “War.” Ooh—what about “Strategic Communications” (a.k.a. unlicensed ...

Take Me Out to the Suburbs
November 13, 2013
The Atlanta Braves’ long nightmare is finally over. The baseball team has announced that it will move out of its downtown stadium, Turner Field, after a whopping . . . 16 years . . . and move to the greener pastures of suburban Cobb County. “That’s a shock,” ...

Big Brother Might Be Watching
November 12, 2013
New “Intellistreets” street lights being installed in Las Vegas will have video screens, because the one thing we definitely don’t have enough of in our day-to-day lives is video screens. But the streetlights won’t just talk. They’ll also have the ...

Would Our Nation’s Not Yet President Lie to You?
November 11, 2013
Chris Christie was just reelected governor of New Jersey, and now he’s out on tour! Of the terrible Sunday morning political talk shows, that is, where his intention is to brag about said reelection. And my goodness, what a suave fellow. He can make you believe anything. I ...