Jason Arias
The Baffler,  December 20, 2019

Fresh Hell

The best dispatches from our grim new reality

Jason Arias
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Making Crime Legal Again

A court has ruled that MI5’s policy of allowing agents and informants to perpetrate serious crimes (as long as it’s, you know, for totally cool spy reasons) is completely legal.

 

But, Do You Have the Meats?

Earlier this week, a Missouri church leader got more than he bargained for when he went on Grindr and tried to trade an Arby’s card for sex with hot, broke college students.

 

Trends in Cruelty

The Australian government has created a fun, funky horoscope chart to deter Sri Lankan asylum-seekers. Watch out Leos, “you will be filled with regret” if you have the audacity to try fleeing to safety on Aussie shores.

 

Santa Claus Is Blindly Careening Into Town

Just in time for Christmas, yuletide union buster Elon Musk has promised us a preview of the self-driving Tesla, which should be totally fine, if the performance of Mr. Musk’s other fine, high-quality automobiles is any indication.

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