Daily Bafflements

The BafflerJuly 20, 2015
Citizen Kane

Mr. Kane wanted a bespoke Rolls-Royce made of the sled he had as a child—a time when he was happy./ Karl-Ludwig Poggemann

•  Fat cats and other animals of substance are looking forward to JFK’s new, high-end pet terminal, which offers “pawdicures with colored nail pawlish” and dog “suites” which could reach prices $100 per night. According to The Associated Press, “Transporting animals by air is not aimed at low-income owners. A flight to London for a dog can cost about $1,000, plus a crate, airport fees and vet certifications. And moving a horse can add up to at least $10,000.” You don’t say! 

• Today in Bespoke: Are you ultra-rich, sentimental, and afraid of the “taste police”? Then Rolls-Royce’s limbo of bespokedom is here for you to work out how low you can go into Citizen Kane-esque Rosebud territory. “Want the wood trim to come from the tree you hung your favorite tire swing on as a child?” suggests Topspeed, “Rolls will harvest a branch and create a veneer from it.” Service without judgment has led to cars based on aged TV series Inspector Morse and The Green Hornet.

• Pixar has made yet another film with the moral that “accommodating the pressures of capitalism is simply part of growing up,” notes James Douglas at The Awl. “To be collective, to be one among many, is to no longer be a special individual producer, which is its own kind of death. This is why Toy Story 2 abhors the idea of Woody becoming part of a box set.”

 ‘Tis no longer the season to ShipSnowYo! The Boston “snow entrepreneur” behind the service that dispatched Styrofoam-boxed souvenirs of the miserable east-coast winter (“Historic Snow”) had to bow out as his resource became scarcer and scarcer, and eventually melted away completely.