Daily Bafflements

The BafflerMarch 07, 2016
Majd Mohabek

If you can take care of this doll, you’re on your own. / Majd Mohabek

 • Today in ostriches, their heads buried in the sand: “The future is clearly coming much faster than science had expected,” writes Bill McKibben in the Boston Globe.

There is legislation pending in the House and Senate that would end new fossil fuel extraction on America’s public lands. Senator Sanders has backed the law unequivocally; Secretary Clinton seemed to endorse it, and then last week seemed to waffle. Donald Trump has concentrated on the length of his fingers. 

Well, that’s a bit uncharitable, Bill. He’s concentrated on his short fingers and on cultivating fascist salutes. 

 • Should immigrant children who face deportation be allowed a taxpayer-funded attorney, wondered the Justice Department official who coordinates the training of immigration judges. Eh! Not if three- and four-year-olds can be taught immigration law. They can, can’t they? Well, let’s review the evidence, starting with this anecdote from the court proceedings of a child of five: “She was unable to answer any questions that the judge asked her except for the name of her doll: ‘Baby Baby Doll.’ That was the name of her doll.” Hm. Earlier this year Natasha Vargas-Cooper wrote about whether minors should be allowed to waive their own Miranda rights in her Baffler crime column “Bad Behavior.” 

• It takes strength and courage to get through this “four-minute read” on “leadership.” (All told, we couldn’t get past the headline.)