Your Sorry Ass

The Long Haul

Amber A’Lee FrostFebruary 15, 2017
. / fdecomite
. / fdecomite

Dear Your Sorry Ass,

Like a lot of people, I spent the lead-up to the election expecting a Clinton victory and a rather business-as-usual political future. Even though I drifted to the left in the past year like many other millennial white guys (thanks Chapo!), I didn’t see it as a particularly awful outcome and planned a multi-month trip starting in December—a sort of once-in-a-lifetime, solo backpack around the world type deal I had been saving for since I graduated college.

Office-Droned Out

Amber A’Lee FrostJanuary 26, 2017
The Library of Virginia
The Library of Virginia

It can be difficult to balance what you can live with and what you can live on. It usually takes experimentation, trial and error. That’s a luxury most people don’t have these precarious days, but creativity helps, and you have a good sense of what will grind your psyche into dust and what won’t.

Keeping Up with the Deviants

Amber A’Lee FrostJanuary 04, 2017
Our intrepid advice columnist fields a wave of "vanilla shame" / Bill McLaughlin
Our intrepid advice columnist fields a wave of "vanilla shame" / Bill McLaughlin

You’ve touched on a curious new phenomenon I’ve been observing: I have recently noticed that more often than not, modern, culturally progressive young people no longer shamefully confess to me their perversions. It’s sad, really—I live for prurient gossip, and there’s no better tea than a bit of horny shame.

Looking Plain, Getting Laid

Amber A’Lee FrostNovember 30, 2016
Everywhere you turn on this earth, unremarkable-looking creatures are getting it on. / Mark Spokes
Everywhere you turn on this earth, unremarkable-looking creatures are getting it on. / Mark Spokes

I am a twenty-one-year-old cisgendered, heterosexual woman, and I am not hot. I don’t mean that I am ugly, but I also don’t just need a makeover, and I don’t have low self-esteem; I just mean that I am not hot.

Advice for a Trumpland Thanksgiving

Amber A’Lee FrostNovember 16, 2016
On the menu this year: your relatives' bigotry, now unmasked. / Giuseppe Arcimboldo
On the menu this year: your relatives' bigotry, now unmasked. / Giuseppe Arcimboldo

Conventional wisdom holds that “kitchen table activism” with kith and kin is somehow easier than talking to strangers, but I’ve never found that to be true. In my experience, people—especially conservative people—are more likely to accept disagreement from a stranger than they are their own family, especially if the dissenting leftist family member in question is younger than they are.

Your CV Groans with Guilt and Shame

Amber A’Lee FrostOctober 19, 2016
Learn from Beavis and Butt-Head, "work sucks!" flâneurs. / slworking2
Learn from Beavis and Butt-Head, "work sucks!" flâneurs. / slworking2

We tell ourselves that our circumstances are our own fault because we find it more reassuring to believe that we are to blame for our woes as opposed to, say, capitalism or basic misfortune. The sociopolitical or existential threat of a world beyond our control is far more menacing than our own shortcomings; if it’s our fault, then we can improve ourselves, and better our situation.

How to Radicalize Your NeoLizard Friend

Amber A’Lee FrostOctober 05, 2016
Sometimes ideologies are closer than they appear. / Democratic Socialists of America; Hiro Protagonist2004
Sometimes ideologies are closer than they appear. / Democratic Socialists of America; Hiro Protagonist2004

This guy is deep down the right-libertarian rabbit hole, but he’s also unsure enough that sometimes I think I could lead him down the right path. All I want to do is get him to channel that conspiratorial, paranoid energy into something resembling socialism, so that when he thinks about how frustrated he is, he thinks of neoliberalism instead of fluoride, lizards, and Hillary’s body doubles.

Token-Hunters: Your Friendship Is Not a Gift

Amber A’Lee FrostSeptember 21, 2016
Beware the weekend warriors of woke Twitter, on the hunt for token non-white friends. / Ryan McGuire
Beware the weekend warriors of woke Twitter, on the hunt for token non-white friends. / Ryan McGuire

“Say it to my face” may sound righteous and brave, but the smug boors who shout that slogan the loudest are often the ones least prepared to listen. If you try to tell this person how her tokenism makes you feel, it could mean a lot of work for you.

From Punk House to Penthouse

Amber A’Lee FrostSeptember 07, 2016
Before you know it, you're a software engineer. / Thomas Hawk, Alex Barth
Before you know it, you're a software engineer. / Thomas Hawk, Alex Barth

Like many radicals, I assume, I burnt myself out in my early to mid-twenties trying to work on activist campaigns full time, and sold out a few years ago for an entry-level job at a software company. There are some legitimately great things about this job compared to being a full-time activist: the pay is great (by my standards), so I’m not living in a punk house with eight other people anymore.

Friends on the Dole

Amber A’Lee FrostAugust 24, 2016
This pretentious yuppie cupcake shop is the only place in America that shouldn't accept SNAP. / Rebecca Schley
This pretentious yuppie cupcake shop is the only place in America that shouldn't accept SNAP. / Rebecca Schley

Dear Your Sorry Ass,

I recently moved to the city after college and am in between not having a job and not having a job. While I remain impecunious, I live a life of abnegation: I never eat out, keeping a monkish diet with the barest possible grocery bills.

What We Talk about When We Talk about Bankers

Amber A’Lee FrostAugust 10, 2016
Caption. / Chris Devers
Caption. / Chris Devers

Welcome to The Baffler’s agony corner, YOUR SORRY ASS, where Amber A’Lee Frost dispenses bossy, judgmental advice on how to live your life fairly, kindly, and with good humor. Send us your rants and pleas, please: yoursorryass@thebaffler.com.

Khaki Sex Isn’t Casual Sex

Amber A’Lee FrostJuly 27, 2016
Is this what you want your sex life to look like? / Wendy House
Is this what you want your sex life to look like? / Wendy House

Welcome to The Baffler’s agony corner, YOUR SORRY ASS, where Amber A’Lee Frost dispenses bossy, judgmental advice on how to live your life fairly, kindly, and with good humor. Send us your rants and pleas, please: yoursorryass@thebaffler.com.

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