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The Masons, the Rotarians, and You

In our current issue, Thomas Frank examines the long, strange history of the Masons, the Rotarians, the Elks, the Lions, Shriners, and all the other fraternal orders that have gradually fallen out of fashion. “The Freemasons,” he writes in “Veiled Pensioners of the Mystic Sofa,” “are fading fast.” What did Frank find when he journeyed to the George Washington Masonic National Memorial in Alexandria, Virginia? A “museum of the recent past,” a monument to the time when such groups had relevance and draw. He writes:

Once upon a time, however, Americans signed up for these organizations in great ecstatic waves. Mere fraternal orders weren’t enough for joiners of a century ago; they had to have affiliated organizations with grand costumes and elite groups within elite groups. The made-up rituals, the bankerly bonhomie, the small-time exclusiveness—oh, it was like the most fun ever. They raised huge sums for charity. They built fantastic limestone meetinghouses in cities across the land, Greek temples stacked on Romanesque blocks, named (just for good measure) after some favorite episode from Romantic literature.

This mix of the exotic and the mundane was all “potent stuff once,” Frank writes, but the younger generations aren’t exactly flocking to don antler-ed helmets or to engage in any Dan Brown-esque rituals with their fellow fraternals.

All this calls to mind a piece from the Baffler archives, written by Dan Kelly for issue 11, called “Blood and Pancakes.” Back in 1998, Kelly had lunch with some of the “burly, beet-faced” Rotarian illuminati in a suburb of Chicago (one of whom was his father, just FYI). He eats the chow, he pledges allegiance, and he prods his tablemates on what “service” really means, anyway.

Next, he infiltrates the Kiwanis Club and learns about their fundraising drive for the, well, oddly named “Crippled Children’s Camp” in Plymouth, Indiana. Even their charity causes are time-warped from the 1950s, it seems.

Here’s how Kelly ends his piece:

Despite the reader’s expectations, I will not close with a smartassed remark. On the contrary, I laud the clubs for outliving the fashionable sneers leveled at them. I congratulate them for never pretending to be havens for individualism in the first place, and for providing otherwise clueless burghers with a smattering of a sense of civic responsibility. I applaud them for organizing for no grislier purpose than scratching one another’s backs, and occasionally lending an overweening hand to the “poor unfortunates” of the world. Most of all, I praise to the heavens their utter, ineluctable squareness, their refusal to accommodate a younger, hipper audience.

Well, there you have it. Still, Kelly’s restraint notwithstanding, it would be understandable if we got some pushback from the fraternals in question. And indeed, The Baffler did very recently receive a letter to the editor in response to Thomas Frank’s piece above.

We’ll reprint it here, in full and unedited:

Your recent article titled “Veiled Pensioners of the Mystic Sofa” includes an organization which I belong to—Rotary—in a disparaging way by insinuating that it is in the same category of organizations like the Masons. I do not know anything about the Masons but I do know a lot about Rotarians. Perhaps the author should learn about an organization before writing our organization in as a tag along. Not to smart in my opinion. Rotaries main mission for years has been the eradication of polio in the world. Today there are only three countries that still have cases of Polio, and it is because of a Rotary that the number is close to zero. That is not all that Rotary does. In the local communities that clubs reside they provide local scholarships, feed the homeless, provide winter coats for homeless veterans. are engaged in literacy programs, provide clean water to countries throughout the world—the list goes on and on. The one thing about Rotary is noted for is that if you have a passion or need in the world or your local community a local Rotary Club will answer the call and take on that project. The Rotary motto is “Service Above Self.” We welcome the author to come to our club or any club near him to experience Rotary—it is an outstanding organization—one that I am very proud to be a member.

Warm Regards,
Michael O’Shaughnessey
Past President Rotary of Troy Michigan